5 Powerful Vietnamese Wedding customs you’ll never forget

In Vietnamese culture, marriage is of crucial importance, symbolizing the sacred union of two people and bringing together families and friends to celebrate their eternal happiness. Every detail, from decorations to rituals, is carefully orchestrated to wish the bride and groom success and happiness.

Attending a Vietnamese wedding offers a precious opportunity to experience the richness of traditional culture, while feeling the sacredness and joy of this event. Let's discover this magnificent tradition together to better understand this country.

Written by Nhu PHAM (local expert)Updated on 07-11-2024

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Table of contents

6 Important ceremonies in Vietnam wedding traditions
Symbols of Vietnamese wedding traditions
Differences in wedding traditions across Vietnam's regions
Traditional outfits at Vietnamese weddings
What should expats do in Vietnamese Weddings?

6 Important ceremonies in Vietnam wedding traditions

Wedding traditions in Vietnam consist of six essential ceremonies, each marking a significant step in the matrimonial journey:

Proposal Ceremony (lễ dạm ngõ): The groom's family visits the bride's family to formally express their intention to marry. Though simple, this ceremony holds deep significance, symbolizing care, respect, and responsibility for the couple's happiness and the unity of both families.

*Offerings prepared by the groom's family*

Engagement Ceremony (lễ ăn hỏi): This key event involves discussions between families and the preparation of symbolic offerings by the groom's side. Marking a formal promise of marriage, the ceremony includes traditional rituals, such as lighting incense and introducing family members.
Bride’s Proposal Ceremony (lễ xin dâu): Just before the bride’s procession, representatives from the groom’s family visit the bride’s family with symbolic gifts. This final request for permission underscores respect and honor between the families, symbolizing the readiness for union.

*The bride proposal ceremony takes place between the two families*

Bride’s Procession Ceremony (lễ rước dâu): In this ceremony, the groom formally brings the bride into his home, presenting symbolic gifts that represent the beginning of their shared life filled with happiness and prosperity.
Wedding Ceremony (lễ cưới): Following all preliminary rituals, the couple celebrates their union with a wedding feast. This event is a joyful gathering where they express gratitude to guests and formally recognize their marital commitment.

vietnam wedding — *Following all preliminary rituals, the couple celebrates their union with a wedding feast*

Post-Wedding Ceremony (lễ lại mặt): To conclude the wedding festivities, the newlyweds visit the bride’s family with symbolic gifts, offering thanks and acknowledging the vital role their parents played in their lives.

>>> Read more: How To Say 'Hello' In Vietnamese Like A Local

Symbols of Vietnamese wedding traditions

Vietnamese weddings are rich with symbols that add profound meaning to the celebration. Some of the most cherished symbols include:

"Song Hy" (Double Happiness): This emblem, featuring two characters for happiness, symbolizes the shared joy of the bride’s and groom’s families, representing harmony and happiness in marriage.

Betel Leaves and Areca Nuts (Trầu Cau): Betel leaves intertwined with areca nuts symbolize resilient, enduring love and represent the harmony and unity of the couple.

Monetary Offering (Tiền Nạp): This gesture from the groom’s family to the bride’s family signifies respect and provides financial support to the newlyweds.
Husband and Wife Cake (Bánh Phu Thê): This traditional cake, with two green layers, symbolizes the lasting bond and unity between husband and wife.

Even Numbers: Even numbers like 8, 10, and 12 are considered lucky, representing completeness and unity in marriage.
Pigeons: Symbolizing harmony and devotion, pigeons bless the newlyweds with wishes for lasting love.
Wedding Rings: Engagement and wedding rings are exchanged as symbols of commitment and lasting union between spouses.

Phoenix: Representing happiness and good fortune, the phoenix brings blessings for a prosperous life together.

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Wedding date: Traditional Vietnamese weddings often take place in the autumn, in harmony with the rice harvest. This tradition continues, with a preference for the months between the 8th and 12th of the lunar calendar.
Red Color: Red, a symbol of luck, is predominant in Vietnamese weddings. Gifts are wrapped in this color during ceremonies.
Dowry Gifts: The bride and groom's families usually give gifts of gold and jewelry to the new bride, often including a set of necklace, ring, bracelet and earrings, specially prepared by the mother-in-law to be worn by the bride. These gifts are personal mementos for the bride after the wedding.

Differences in wedding traditions across Vietnam's regions

Northern Vietnam Wedding Traditions

In Northern Vietnam, traditions are deeply rooted, with a strong emphasis on family values and cultural customs. Families often conduct detailed background research on potential in-laws, reflecting Northern Vietnam's reputation as the cradle of Vietnamese culture. As a result, marriage customs in the North are considered the strictest, with extensive rituals and formalities. Weddings in Hanoi, for example, may feature the xích lô (cycle rickshaw) for the procession, adding a unique touch rooted in tradition.

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cyclo in wedding in vietnam — *A unique wedding using xích lô, a traditional mode of transportation in Vietnam*

Central Vietnam Wedding Traditions

Central Vietnam, particularly in the former imperial city of Hue, places a high value on ceremonial aspects over material ones. Weddings in this region draw heavily from the imperial era, preserving ancient traditions with a focus on ritual significance. The traditional attire is unique, with brides and grooms often wearing áo dai influenced by imperial fashion. The ceremonies in Central Vietnam, especially in Hue, embody a refined elegance, honoring the area's imperial heritage.

*Traditional wedding attire in the center, especially in Huế, is influenced by the imperial period.*

Southern Vietnam Wedding Traditions

In Southern Vietnam, wedding customs are more relaxed and open-minded. Rituals are simpler, and the celebrations are flexible, reflecting the southern spirit of openness. Parents of the bride and groom tend to be less formal, allowing for a more casual approach to marriage traditions. In the Mekong Delta, weddings often include scenic boat trips, which are iconic to the region, blending the celebration with the unique landscape of water and land.

Traditional outfits at Vietnamese weddings

What does the Bride and Groom wear in Vietnamese Weddings?

The áo dài is the quintessential wedding attire for Vietnamese brides and grooms. Worn during engagement and wedding ceremonies, the áo dài allows the couple to formally introduce themselves to both families and honor their ancestors. Popular colors include red (for luck), white, yellow, pink, and green.

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*For Vietnamese women, red is the color of luck.*

Many couples now choose modernized versions, such as the innovative áo dài or Viet phuc, which offers comfort while adding diversity to the wedding wardrobe. Later in the celebration, brides often change into a Western-style wedding gown, and grooms typically switch to a suit, blending Vietnamese and Western traditions.

bride wears a wedding dress

Vietnamese Wedding Attire for Families of the Bride and Groom

Traditionally, the bride’s and groom’s families also wear áo dài at the wedding ceremony, sometimes adding contemporary elements. Mothers of the bride and groom usually wear the classic áo dài, while the groom’s father may opt for a suit or vest, complemented by accessories such as a tie.

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Vietnamese wedding attire for groom and bride families — *The bride and groom's families traditionally wear the áo dai during the wedding ceremony*

Vietnamese Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Outfits

Bridesmaids and groomsmen often wear either traditional or modern áo dài or Western-style attire. Bridesmaids may wear áo dài or dresses, while groomsmen often wear white shirts with trousers, bow ties, or ties. The áo dài remains popular for wedding parties, adding a touch of cultural tradition.

Prohibitions During Vietnamese Weddings According to Beliefs

Marriage Age: In Vietnamese belief, it’s considered unlucky to marry in a "Kim Lâu" year (when the man’s age divided by 9 has a remainder of 1, 3, 6, or 8, and the woman’s age has these digits in the tens place). However, the specific impact of these unions remains uncertain.
Absence of the Bride’s Mother: Traditionally, the bride’s mother does not accompany her daughter to her husband’s house to avoid any confusion between the two families.
Bride's Gaze: During the wedding procession, the bride should look straight ahead, not glancing back at her family, symbolizing her commitment to her new home.
Offerings Along the Way: The bride throws rice, salt, and money over a bridge or at a crossroads to bless her marriage with prosperity and luck.

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rice and salt — *The bride throws rice, salt, and money on a bridge or crossroads for a prosperous and lucky married life*

Bridal Chamber Restrictions: Certain individuals, such as widows, pregnant women, divorcees, or those in mourning, are traditionally prohibited from entering the bridal chamber. Selecting who prepares the room is an important cultural consideration.

What should expats do in Vietnamese Weddings?

Ceremonies

Often, foreign guests are invited to the main wedding ceremony or reception rather than the preliminary traditional events, which are typically reserved for extended family and close friends.

Dress Code Considerations

Be sure to confirm where the ceremony or reception will be held. If it’s in a hotel or wedding hall with air conditioning, formal attire such as a suit or a dress is ideal. For outdoor ceremonies, especially in warm weather, a shirt or lighter clothing is appropriate, as comfort is key. Women should dress elegantly and avoid wearing lavish dresses that resemble the bride’s attire.

Gifts and Etiquette

It's customary to bring a monetary gift for the couple in a red envelope, symbolizing luck and prosperity. A minimum of 300,000 VND is generally expected, though the amount may vary based on your relationship with the couple and your circumstances. Write your name on the envelope, along with a few warm wishes. When you arrive at the reception, there will typically be two boxes for envelopes - one for the bride’s family and one for the groom’s. Place your envelope in the box of the family to whom you’re closer.

lucky money in wedding

Arrival and Seating

While it’s common for local guests to arrive a bit later, it’s best to arrive promptly as a foreign guest. If attending with a group, arriving together will ensure you can all sit at the same table, as seating is generally unassigned. This will help avoid having anyone feel left out and ensures a more comfortable experience.

Celebration and Festivities

Many Vietnamese weddings feature karaoke, dancing, and unlimited drinks, adding a lively atmosphere to the festivities. Once the formal ceremony ends, the celebration becomes more relaxed and free-spirited. Feel free to join in the fun and enjoy the joyous atmosphere - participating in these festivities is encouraged, and you’ll find that having a great time is the ultimate goal!

dancing in the weddings — *Participating in these festivities is encouraged, and you’ll find that having a great time is the ultimate goal*

Our Last Words

Attending a wedding in Vietnam offers a unique window into the country’s rich cultural heritage. Every detail, from symbolic rituals to joyful gatherings, reveals a deep history and meaningful traditions. Whether you’re a guest or a curious observer, a Vietnamese wedding offers an authentic, unforgettable cultural experience, filled with warmth, hospitality, and joy- creating memories to cherish long after the celebration ends.

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